Left Behind
by PandorasHollow
Summary: LL Can Luke and Lorelai live without each other? COMPLETE
1. Last Goodbye

**Left Behind **by PandorasHollow

**Spoilers:** I got the idea after watching 506 - **'Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant'  
Disclaimer: **Don't owe one of the characters mentioned in this story. They're all ASP's.  
Songs are by _Jeff Buckley_..._Last Goodbye_ and by _Aqualung_..._Left Behind_. I don't own one of those songs either.  
**AN:** The story is told from different POV's. I couldn't think of a title for this fic, so I used _Left Behind_, 'cause that song was one of the things that inspired me to write this story. I'll add the lyrics at the bottom of this page.

Please RR :)

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_This is our last goodbye  
I hate to feel the love between us die  
But it's over  
Just hear this and then I'll go  
You gave me more to live for  
More than you'll ever know  
  
This is our last embrace  
Must I dream and always see your face  
Why can't we overcome this wall  
Well, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all_

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

**Thursday 4 am – Luke's POV**

I look at the two bags in my hands and still can't believe what I'm about to do. I'm leaving the town that has been my home since my birth. It's so surreal but I've made up my mind. I need to leave. I need to distance myself from the pain, to distance myself from her. The only option is to leave this place.  
I can't stand it to walk through a town where everything reminds me of her. Where every person makes sure I don't forget her. I know they don't do it intentionally but still I can see it in their looks. They pity me, they feel sorry for me and that drives me crazy.  
My apartment that was usually a shelter from the world outside was now the place that caused me the worst pain. She was in every corner of it. The whole apartment is filled with memories and thoughts of her.  
The sheets of the now too big bed still smell like her even after washing them. I can see her sitting on that particular chair in my kitchen, in my grey shirt that she loved so much with a cup of coffee in her hands. She'd smile, laugh and flirt with me. The memories are too intense and sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. I'd think that she was standing in front of me and then I'd reach out to her but all I grasp is cold air. I often need to remind myself that nothing of this was real anymore. She won't ever sit on that chair again and she won't ever climb into the bed, snuggle close to me and press her cold feet against my legs. No kisses, touches, smiles and embraces.  
None of that will ever happen again. That's why I have to leave. I have to leave Stars Hollow. I can't live in the past but need to focus on my future. A future without her. Ten days ago that would have sounded absurd but ten days ago I was in a relationship with Lorelai. Now that's over. Everything is over.

TBC

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_Left Behind by Aqualung_

_Open the curtain,  
Let some light in,  
I feel so grey,  
The world got smashed to pieces,  
And put back together  
The wrong way.  
  
Why you leaving me now?  
There must be some doubt in your mind,  
Can't you open your heart?  
Don't want to be left behind.  
  
Open the window,  
Let some air in,  
I feel so old  
There - Where we were happy,  
Long ago  
Yesterday  
  
Why you leaving me now?  
There must be some doubt in your mind,  
Can't you open your heart?  
Don't want to be left behind.  
  
You open your mouth and I know  
What you're going to say.  
  
Open the window,  
Let some air in,  
I feel so grey.  
  
Why you leaving me now?  
There must be some doubt in your mind,  
Can't you open your heart?  
Don't want to be left behind.  
  
You open your mouth and I know  
What you're going to say_


	2. I love you

**Thursday 5 pm - Rory's POV **

I was looking through my journal while I waited for Lane to pick up her phone.

"Hello?"  
  
"Hi. It's me"  
  
"Hi, Rory...."  
  
"Listen, I need to ask you a favor. You know mom and Luke broke up but that's so wrong, right?"

"Right, but...."

"I had the thought we should do something against it. I have no classes tomorrow and just came back from my last one for today. I thought of coming home tonight and we could unite our powers to reunite those two. What do you say Supergirl?" – I asked her with a small chuckle.

"Rory..." – The tone in her voice indicated that I was about hear something I won't like. "...Luke left. He left town and won't probably come back."

"What? That can't be true" – I said, not wanting to believe what she just told me. "But why, when, how..."

"I think he left this morning or late last night. Yesterday he was at work and was supposed to open the diner this morning. Today when I went over I only found Ceasar in an empty diner. He handed me a letter from Luke. He wrote that he left, won't probably come back. He felt sorry for not telling us sooner. Ceasar and I picked a sign to the window letting everyone know that the diner will stay closed for an indefinite time." – Lane finished sadly. "Rory? Are you still there?"

"I...I don't know what to say. I'm shocked."

"Believe me, everyone else is too."

"I can't believe she didn't tell me."

"What?"

"My mom. I just talked to her before I called you and she didn't tell me. My God, she must be devastated. I'm coming home right now. Bye Lane, I'll see you in a bit." – I said and put the phone down without even waiting for Lane to say 'bye'. I packed in a hurry, jumped into my car and left Yale.  
When I entered Stars Hollow I drove to Luke's. I needed to see it myself. Somehow I still hoped it was all just a sick joke. Unfortunately everything Lane said was true. The diner was dark and the sign she wrote in black capital letters was staring back at me.

I got into my car again and drove home with the intention to comfort my mom but when I arrived I only found dad sitting in the kitchen sipping coffee. The sadness and frustration that I felt over the whole Luke issue combined with anger. My mind screamed, that everything was my dad's fault. He messed up things again. Dad looked up as he noticed me coming into the kitchen.

"Rory. Did we know you were coming home?"

"How could you?"

"Wha...?"

"I warned you before. I told you to leave her alone, now you destroyed everything. Why did you do that?"

"Rory, I didn't....."

"Yes.Yes, you did...a great relationship is over."

"No, I didn't destroy anything. If their relationship was that great than nothing could have ruined it."

"The relationship was great. You came back even after I asked not to and then you ....you practically "stole" mom from Luke."

"Stole? Even if I did do such a thing, don't you think that maybe she wanted to be "stolen"? Maybe she wasn't as happy as you think she was. I don't like your tone. You make it sound like I forced her into something. You of all people know your mom. You know that you can't force her into anything."

"You're right, I know mom. I know why she's doing all of this. Because she's scared. She's scared of her feelings for Luke. She finally found that one person she was looking for and it scares the hell out of her. If you wouldn't have come back, she would have faced her fears but you come back and she did the one thing she always does when scared....she runs away. Mom's doing all of this because you're the easy way out and not because she's in love with you. They broke up, they are both hurt and now Luke left town and won't return!" – After I almost screamed the last part the room grew too quite for a split second before it was shattered by the loud sound of keys hitting the floor. I turned and saw mom standing in the hallway, a shocked expression on her face. I didn't know what to do or say but it didn't matter 'cause I got no chance to do either. Mom picked up her keys and ran out of the house before anything else could have happened.  
My heart was beating fast and I was slightly out of breath as I looked over to my dad. He was still staring at the spot where mom just stood then he turned to me. The look upon his face made me regret the words I've just spoken. I felt a bit helpless, couldn't come up with anything else to say so I left too. I walked out of the kitchen door and left dad alone behind me.

TBC


	3. Luke's gone

_AN: thanks for the reviews. I still don't own GG nor the beautiful song "I love you" by Sarah McLachlan

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_oh and every time I'm close to you  
there's too much I can't say  
and you just walk away  
  
and I forgot to tell you  
I love you  
and the night's too long  
and cold here without you  
I grieve in my condition  
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so_

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

**Thursday 6 pm – Lorelai's POV**

After a stressful day at the inn I hoped to get a good night sleep at home. Since the night Luke walked out of my house I haven't been able to sleep. Coffee was no longer something I enjoyed but became the one substance to keep me up on my feet.  
I walked into my house and heard Rory speak. I was surprised that she was there. As I walked closer to the kitchen I heard her words clearly...._"...she would have faced her fears but you come back and she did the one thing she always does when scared....she runs away. Mom's doing all of this because you're the easy way out and not because she's in love with you. They broke up, they are both hurt and now Luke left town and won't return!"_

My heart felt like it stopped beating for a moment and I didn't even notice the keys slipping out of my hand until they hit the floor. Chris and Rory immediately looked over to me.  
I grabbed my keys off the floor and rushed out of the house.  
I ran all the way to the diner, ignoring all the glances and whispers. My heart was racing and my head was spinning as I finally stood in front of the diner. The words "Closed permanently" burned into my mind. Some time later I found myself sitting in his kitchen without any real memory of getting up there.  
I looked around the apartment. The bed was unmade, his closet door opened and some clothes were scattered on the floor. It seemed like he had left in a hurry. I spotted a box on his kitchen counter. It didn't catch my eye because of the word "trash" that was written on it but because of the familiarity of the one item looking out of it. I got up and walked over to the box. There it was, the grey shirt that I loved so much. The shirt was ripped in two places and smelled faintly of his soap and my body lotion. I used to wear that shirt everytime I slept at his place and now it was only trash. I looked through the other contents of the box and slowly tear after tear started to fall down my face. The cd's he bought for me after our first date, my favorite coffee mug, toothbrush, shampoo, an InStyle magazine, several candy bars and few other things that he had bought for me or I've brought over were in that box. After years of friendship and months full of happiness everything that was left was trash.

I pulled out the shirt and the cd's and walked over to the bed where I laid down. I hugged the shirt and the cd's close to me as I remembered the last time I saw Luke. We were at my house and somehow we found ourselves in a fight. It started about some trivial thing but from one moment to the other the fight got heated.  
He accused me of playing house with Christopher and withdrawing myself from him while he watched from the outside. I got defensive and told him he was too jealous and nothing what he said was true. Our yelling just got louder. Some ugly words were said by both of us. Words that only had the purpose to hurt. Things were said that night....things that he tried to ignore, things that I denied. Before I realized it the words were spoken that ended everything.

"_Well, if you feel that way than maybe we should end this madness!"_

"_Yeah, maybe we should!"_

"_Fine! It's over."_

"_That's it? It's over?"_

"_It's over!" _– I yelled one last time. The look upon his face that very moment left me speechless. Luke stormed out of my house and slammed the door shut behind him. I stood there, rooted in the middle of my living room with my final words ringing in my head..._"it's over. it's over. it's over. it's over."_

The memory made my tears fall so hard that I could barely breathe and I clutched the shirt even closer to me. How could our wonderful relationship just go so wrong?

TBC


	4. Everything is falling apart

**Thursday 10.30 pm - Rory's POV**

It was late when I walked back home. The first hour after leaving dad alone in the kitchen I spent walking around the town before going to Lane's. She and I talked. It helped me clear my head and calm down. I felt guilty for yelling at dad and I knew I needed to apologize to him. I walked into our living room and found him watching a movie with a sleeping Georgia in his arms.

"Hi."

"Hey." – Dad looked up at me.

"Is it possible that we talk?"

"Yeah. Just let me put Gigi to bed." – He stood up and carried Gigi upstairs. When their regular visits to Stars Hollow started they used to stay at the Dragonfly and now they occupied the spare bedroom in our house. It was a small bedroom that mom and I usually used for storaging the stuff that we didn't need but just couldn't throw away.

I sat down on the chair and waited for dad to come back. Soon he walked downstairs with a baby monitor in his hand.

"You have my full attention now." – He said as he sat down on the couch again.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you before. I was just so sad and upset. I was upset with Luke because he left and with mom because she didn't stop him and upset with you because you were no help in this whole situation. I know you're not entirely to blame for this....it's like I said before. You may not want to ruin things but still they end up ruined.  
I love you dad. I hope you don't think otherwise. You'll always have a special place in my heart and life..."

"But?"

"But we can never be a family. Not in the common sense. No one will ever replace you. To me...no, to us you're very important but so is Luke. He's been a part of our lives since forever. I want him to come back. I hope you understand that. Again, I'm sorry. I going to bed now." – I stood up and was almost in the kitchen when I remembered something. "Dad, where's mom?" – As soon as I said the words someone knocked on the front door. When I opened it I found Sookie clad in her pj's and a bathrobe.

"How is she? Jackson just told me about Luke. I was so busy at the inn with the first wedding coming up and then with Davey that I didn't notice anything. No one told me. Lorelai didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell me? Is she okay?"

"Whoa, Sookie calm down."

"Okay, sorry." – She walked over to the chair that I had occupied earlier and sat down.

"From the shocked expression on her face when she heard the news from me I guess she didn't know about Luke either. She's probably not okay, but I don't know for sure. I haven't seen her since the early evening."

"She didn't come home after she ran out." – Dad said. "I called at the inn but she isn't there either."

"Then there's only one option left."

"Luke's." – Sookie and I said in unison.

"But Luke's closed."

"Mom has a key. I'll go get her." – I said and picked up my coat and car keys.

"I'm coming with you."

"You can't. What about Gigi?"

He turned to Sookie. "Sookie, could you...."

"Of course. Go. I'll stay here."

"Thanks, she's asleep upstairs." – Dad handed the baby monitor to Sookie and we walked out to my car.

I parked in front of the diner and we got out. I tried to open the door of the diner but it was locked.

"Maybe she didn't come here?"

"Or maybe she used the back entrance." – I answered and was already halfway to the back of the building. I was right. The back door wasn't locked and neither was the door to Luke's apartment. We entered and found the apartment faintly illuminated by a single lamp. I looked around and finally noticed mom curled up on Luke's bed. As I walked closer to her sleeping form dad remained standing by the open door. Slowly I sat down next to her on the bed and tried to wake her up.

"Mom. Wake up mom." – I said gently as I brushed one of the hair strands off her face.

She slowly opened her eyes and stared at me. The apartment was barely lit but still I could see that she had been crying. Then I noticed the shirt she was hugging. I tried to smile but the truth was – it broke my heart to see her like this.

"Come on, let's go home." – She nodded and when she sat up several cd's slipped her embrace and flew everywhere across the floor. She looked at them like paralyzed.

"Everything is falling apart." – Mom whispered into the dark apartment. I watched her get up and walk past dad and out of the apartment. She was still clutching the grey shirt in her hand.

"Go after her." – I told dad. "I'll be there soon."

I picked up as quickly as I could every cd off the floor. _Bowie, The Sparks, U2, Bangles, Blondie, The Clash. _Then I understood why she was hugging them. That were the cd's Luke bought for her after their first date. _'The greatest first date ever'_ that's how mom described it to me on the phone the following day. She was so excited, so happy then. _'Why can't things be the way they used to?'_ I wondered as I walked back to my car.

TBC


	5. Don't wait too long

**Wednesday (six days since Luke left) Christopher's POV**

This morning when I woke up I thought that I had a dream of Lorelai crying in her bed. As I watched my room getting brighter with sunshine I remembered that it wasn't a dream. I really saw Lorelai crying. She was always the strongest person I knew and I was shocked to see her cry like that. I felt helpless and didn't know what exactly to do so I did the worst thing of all. Nothing.  
When I took off a week from work I had this great plan . I was going to ask Lorelai for another chance to be a family. I had a week to convince her of me and of us. I drove with Gigi on a warm Sunday to Stars Hollow. Rory was at Yale and it gave me the chance to focus entirely on Lorelai. She still wasn't in a better mood after the break up with Luke the previous week. She assured everyone that she was fine but I just could thell that she wasn't. That even made me more determined to win her back. I made her dinner, surprised her with a movie night, I flirted with her, tried to make her laugh but no matter with how much effort I tried to make her forget Luke and see me – it just didn't work.  
Then Thursday came. The day when everything changed from bad to worse. Luke didn't only leave Lorelai but also Stars Hollow and I found myself in a situation where I had to deal with the two Lorelais in a way I never had to deal before. They were sad, upset and unbelievably silent.  
That night I went to bed thinking about Lorelai and Rory and how they reacted to Luke's departure. I didn't expect so many emotions from them. I also didn't expect myself to feel jealous of Luke. How was it possible that I felt more jealous of him even when he was no longer there? No longer in their lives.  
Although I knew the reason why I just didn't want to face it. I still hoped that the whole Luke issue would be forgotten soon. I was still hoping for a new chance with Lorelai. In the morning after we found Lorelai asleep at Luke's I received an answer even without asking her the question.  
It was early and I was on my way to the kitchen to make some coffee when I heard muffled sounds coming from her room. I quietly opened her door and was greeted by a heartbreaking sight. Lorelai was curled up on her bed just like the night before in Luke's apartment. Her back was to me and her head was burried in the pillow while she cried and cried. I felt lost and helpless and after debating what to do I just turned and walked downstairs.

Now I found myself in almost the same situation.  
Lorelai wasn't crying this time. She was actually smiling but I still felt helpless. I was back in Stars Hollow without Gigi and without telling Lorelai. I thought I'd surprise her and see if she was doing fine again. After only watching her for a minute I knew that it wasn't the case. She still wasn't fine. I stood there on the porch of the Dragonfly Inn and watched her chat with some guests. There she was dressed in an elegant grey suit, her hair dark and curly, her face covered in perfect make up. She was smiling and even laughing a few times. The persons around Lorelai seemed captivated by her but they didn't see what I saw...even from this distance. She was hurt. Her pretty clothes and perfect hair and make up might disguise her hurt to a stranger but not to me. Her beautiful blue eyes that usually were full of emotions seemed lifeless. There was no laughter, no happiness in them. To me they just seemed empty. I walked to the back of the inn where my car was parked and got into it. Several thoughts occupied my mind. One of them was the fight I had with Rory last week. When she accused me of "stealing" Lorelai from Luke, but I especially recalled her apology afterwards. I realized something that I haven't before. Rory apologized to me because she yelled at me but she never apologized for the words she said. She wasn't sorry for a single thing she accused me of._  
"__To me...no, to us you're very important but so is Luke. He's been a part of our lives since forever. I want him to come back." _- Her words from that night stirred something in me and I just couldn't ignore the unpleasant thoughts that I was pushing aside for weeks now.  
Lorelai and Rory didn't need me in their lives. Not in the way they needed Luke. What were Rory's other words? "_He's there?" "He's been there since forever?" –_ Something that with a great regret I couldn't say of myself. My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone. Whoever it was I didn't feel like talking and that's why I waited for it to stop ringing. Once it stopped I understood that even though I felt awful for not having the chance to spend my life with Lorelai's and Rory's as a family I wanted them to be happy. I needed to put my own happiness on hold in order to make them happy and content again. I started the engine and put my car into motion while I thought of persons who could help me in this particular matter. One name sounded very promising. "Robert Feldman" – I spoke out loud his name into the empty car. Robert is a friend back from high school. We still saw each other occasionally when I visit my parents in Hartford. Rob works for the mayor of the city and I'm sure if there's someone who could help me then it's him. I called my secretary and asked her for Rob's phone number. Soon she connected me with his office and I hoped that Robert would agree to help me.  
After my phone call to Robert I drove to Hartford and went to my favorite place to have lunch. The whole time staring at my cell phone in front of me, waiting for Rob to call me back. Finally he did and I was told the informations I was hoping for...when and where Luke's credit card was used.  
  
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**Wednesday, 7.30 pm (same day)**

19. That was the number on the door I was staring at for minutes now. I knew Luke was on the other side of that door – that's what his credit card bill said. Somehow I just couldn't raise my hand and knock.  
_"You're doing this for Lorelai and Rory." – _I repeated for the thousandth time since I decided to come here and face him.

It occurred to me how ironic this situation was. Last week I was trying to convince Lorelai of a future with me and now I was standing here and was about to convince another man of her love for him.

I finally brought up the courage to knock on his door. I heard movement inside the room and prepared myself for the unexpected but also the inevitable. The door opened and a very shocked Luke Danes stared at me.

"How the hell did you find me?"

"We can waste time with that little anecdote or talk about the really important stuff." – I said and strode past him into the room.

"Too bad. I don't want to talk to you at all." – He said and opened the door wider as a hint for me to leave. I just stared at him and didn't move an inch.

"I know you don't give a damn about what I have to say..."

"Well if you already know that then why waste your breath?"

"Because it's for Lorelai. Just this one time I need to do something that's right for her." – Luke just stared at me anger evident in his look. "Listen, nothing happened between Lorelai and me..." – He snorted in disbelief and tried to say something but I just continued to speak. "...that's the truth. I admit that I wanted her back, that I tried to win her back. I wanted us to be a real family. In the beginning nothing I did or said worked. Then one day I noticed that she started to spend more and more time with me and Gigi. I didn't understand why the sudden change but I was happy about it. I thought she was falling in love with me again.  
I really wanted her to. When you two broke up I saw my real chance. It wasn't until I saw Lorelai at the Dragonfly today that I realized that it doesn't matter what I want. The only thing that matters is what she wants and that ain't me.  
I now understand that Lorelai is just afraid of her feelings for you. I guess they overwhelmed her and she ran away and somehow she ran to me. Well that's what Rory said. According to my daughter the only reason Lorelai ran away from you was because I'm the "_easy way out_". A reason for Lore not to deal with her feelings." – I stopped for a moment waiting for a reaction from him but there was none.  
Luke just continued to stand there with the still open door behind him. A blank look upon his face.

"Go back to her, forgive her. Not because I ask you to but because she loves you and because you love her. Don't wait too long. Don't repeat my mistake." – With that said I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me. After I got into my car I looked up at the building before me and a thought crossed my mind. I don't know Luke but there was something about that blank expression on his face. Somehow I couldn't help but think that like Lorelai's eyes his were empty too.

TBC

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**AN:** this chapter didn't turn out to be the way I wanted it. I rewrote it over and over again and still it's not the way I planned to write it. In this chapter I just wanted Christopher to realize that there's no Lorelai in his future. I hope it was clear :) 


	6. The Gilmore Way

_**AN:**   
**1.)** Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I'm glad you like the story :)   
**2.)** When I started to write this story this chapter wasn't a part of it. Then I watched "You jump, I jump Jack" last week and Emily was so malicious. Poor Luke, but Kelly Bishop was great. Anyway the episode inspired me to write this   
**3.)** I'm almost done with the story. There are going to be 11 chapters and I've written them all expect for ch.7. I need to do some re-writing.   
**4.) ocdwithlhg** - You noticed something that I already used in ch 8 ;)_

_Hope you enjoy this chapter too. I had fun writing it

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**Wednesday 5pm (6 days after Luke left) - Emily's POV**

"Hello?"

"Rory, hello."

"Hi grandma. How are you?"

"I'm fine and you?"

"Oh, the usual. It's hectic but it's okay. Is there some particular reason for your call?"

"Yes, dear. I'm trying to get a hold on you mother but without any success. Michel said she took the afternoon off but she isn't answering the phone. I tried her cell phone too. Do you know where she is?"

"I think she's at home. She just doesn't feel like talking – to no one."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"You could say that. She's just not feeling that well lately but..."

"Is she ill?"

"Well....actually she and Luke broke up and Luke left Stars Hollow last week. I wish I could be there for her but I'm so busy with my new assignment for the paper..." – I admit that it is rude but after Rory said that Luke had left I didn't listen to her anymore. Luke left and Christopher came back. _"Maybe everything is going to work out after all." -_ I smiled as an idea formed in my head.

"Thank you Rory for telling me this. I'll let you now go back to your paper. I'll see you Friday."

"Bye grandma."

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

**One hour later**

After my third knock she finally opened the door.

"Mom, hi. What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you. You were not answering your phone. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." – She stepped away and made room for me to enter. We walked to the couch and sat down. I took a good look at her. She was pale and had dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was uncombed and put back in a messy ponytail.

"What can I do for yor mom?"

"I had a few ideas for the upcoming DAR meeting. You know the meeting? At your inn?"

"Yes, mom I remember the meeting." – She rolled her eyes.

"There's no reason to be rude Lorelai. I'm having this DAR meeting at your inn as a favor to you. I thought..."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be rude. I'm just tired and I appreciate that you thought of me. Now tell me what ideas you have."

"I made notes." – I pulled out a few papers out of my purse and handed them to her. She immediately looked through them, the whole time chewing on her lower lip. I thought it was the right moment to bring up the subject why I really was here.

"So, I heard you and Luke are no longer a couple?" – Lorelai's head shot up at the mention of his name.

"How do you know?"

"Rory told me. She also told me that he left town."

"Mom, I'm not feeling well. That's the reason why I'm here and not at work. I promise to work on your list and I will call your first thing tomorrow morning. Is that okay?"

"That's fine with me, Lorelai but don't change the subject. Is that the reason why your're here by yourself? Because Luke left?"

"Mom drop it. I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? I don't understand it. He left, so what?"

"So what? Mom...no, forget it. I don't want to fight with you. I don't have the energy for it right now."

"Lorelai, you should look at the bright side of it."

"What bright side? He left. Luke **left**. What bright side is there?"

"Now you can finally focus on Christopher."

"Oh, my God!"

"He's back. You two got another chance. Your should take it."

"I can't believe this." – Lorelai got up from the couch and walked over to the fireplace.

"You and Christopher are meant to be together. You two just have to end up together...it's logic. You can finally be family and lead the life you were supposed to lead so many years ago."

"I don't want that life. Twenty years ago I ran away from it. Why do you think I'd want to lead it now?"

"You can be so stubborn. What's wrong with that kind of life? Your father and I are living it since our birth."

"And look what it's gotten you." – She said and it felt like a slap in the face. I swallowed down the hurt and was glad that she was stading with her back to me that very moment. Lorelai turned and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Mom, I'm going to say this ony once and I really want you to understand. I don't want a life with Christopher. I lo..."

"I know why you're doing this. You are only doing this to spite your father and me. God forbid you do something that we want you to."

"That's not true mom. This has absolutely nothing to do with you or dad.   
It may shock you but I don't go to bed every night thinking and making plans how to disappoint you even more or how do make you more ashamed of me and the life I'm leading.   
I love him mom. I love Luke so much that I can't even put it in words. This has nothing to do with 'logic' as you put it but it has everything to do with love. Now that he's no longer here doesn't mean that he's no longer in my life or in my heart....and it certainly doesn't mean that I'll go back to Chris.   
I'm not in love with him. He and me ended twenty years ago I just didn't want to believe it. I clinged to the feelings I once had for him as a teenager and I gave us a chance after chance. It never worked out. We **are not meant** to be together. Christopher and I will never marry and be a family. Give up that dream already. For your own sake mother, give it up.   
Please don't forget to close the door when you leave." – I watched her disappear upstairs, leaving me with my thoughts alone. How can she ask me to accept it? It's everything I wanted for her for the last two decades...but then I guess if I don't want to lose Rory and her again I'll have to accept it...or at least pretend I'm alright with it. Pretend...that sounds rather fine with me. It's after all the Gilmore way.

TBC


	7. 1000 Oceans

_These tears I've cried   
I've cried 1000 oceans   
And if it seems I'm floating   
In the darkness   
Well I can't believe that I would   
Keep you from flying   
And I would cry 1000 more if that's   
What it takes to sail you home   
Sail you home sail you home_

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

"_Sorry. I forgot to turn the alarm off." _

"_Bad alarm. Bad, bad alarm."_

'thud' - I sat up in my bed feeling alarmed. _"What was that sound? Was someone in the house?" _– I quickly scanned my room and found my alarm clock on the floor. I knocked it over. Again. It was the third time this week. I was surprised that it still worked.   
I groaned at the thought of getting up and going to work. Staying in bed sounded more appealing but I couldn't. Not because I needed to go to the inn but because I knew that I wouldn't sleep anyway. My thoughts would be filled with him and then I'd just cry again. Just that thought brought tears to my eyes and although I was able to hold them back I knew that later they'd fall anyway. That happened daily now. I climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. When I stepped under the spray of hot water I remembered the dream I had before I woke up.

I dreamt of our first date and the first time we made love. That night I thought that I would be nervous about the date but I wasn't. Not at all. The whole night felt right, almost perfect. Everything with Luke always felt right. I enjoyed every minute we've spent together, all our talks, all his affection and attention. I loved his kisses and touches and the way he used look at me when he thought that I wasn't aware of it.   
One of my favorite things to do was to wake up next to him. We never woke up and just got out of bed. We always nestled together and savored our closeness for a few minutes more before we had to spend hours apart.   
He was always an early riser. In the beginning when he'd get up to go open the diner I never woke up. Later that changed. I started to wake up with him. Not because he disturbed my sleep but because I instantly missed his presence next to me.   
Those thoughts of Luke caused the tears to fall again and I was wondering for the hundredth time why I cried that much. He's not dead, he just lives somewhere else now. So why was I still crying day after day? Why was it possible to cry this much? There shouldn't be any tears left to fall. Isn't that what's told in dramatic books and movies? That when you cry day after day that in the end you have no tears to shed? That you can't cry even if you want to?   
I guess  those rules don't apply for me.

Ten minutes later the tears had decreased and I stepped out of the shower. I looked into the mirror and a familiar sight greeted me. Pale skin and puffy red eyes. I averted my gaze because I knew that if I stared too long in the mirror I'd recall every reason why I'm looking the way I did. Every reason why I didn't recognize myself in the reflection.

I hated the woman I had become. I couldn't believe how much I depended on Luke. I knew loving someone that much would only hurt me. That's why I never allowed anyone to come too close to me. I hadn't even noticed that he was having so much control over me until the day he left.   
I always thought that I was independent and I am. I am that independent woman _"Destiny's Child"_ sings about. But they sing about material independence. I depend on Luke for much more. I depend on him emotionally.   
No houses, cars, clothes could give me feelings of contentment and happiness. None of those things could comfort and hold me close, nor kiss and give me looks of utter love.

I sighed loudly as I walked back to my bedroom. I looked through my clothes and hoped to distract myself for a while but it didn't help. Especially when I saw those jeans that "worked" for him. I smiled at that memory, remembering his attempt to flirt with me without attracting attention. Memories like those made me even more regret the fact that I never told him how much I loved him. I didn't understand why it had been so hard to speak out those words.   
I had no problems telling it to my mother. My mother, a topic I didn't want to think about. She of course had to come here yesterday when I had a crappy day.   
The day had started with headache. I felt cranky for not having slept at all the previous night. Then I had to deal with a retirement party. The client had showed up at the inn without having an appointment with me and then Liz had called. Liz had obviously no idea about the happenings in Luke's life 'cause she asked me if I knew where he was. I felt a lump form in my throat and tears well up in my eyes. Suddenly I couldn't speak. Sookie came to the front desk with a plate of cookies in her hand. As soon as her eyes fell on me her face changed from happy to worried. Finally I managed to say _"I'm sorry"_ to Liz and _"I need to leave"_ to Sookie. I literally ran to my jeep and drove home not caring about the speed limit.   
The whole ride home I was able to hold back the tears. But as soon as I closed the house door behind me and I felt the comfort of my home the tears fell openly. The phone rang and the machine picked up. It was Liz again. She left a message telling me that Sookie had told her everything. She told me not to worry, that Luke will change his mind and that he will come back.   
I wished I could believe her but I didn't.

I don't know for how long I've sat on the floor with my back against the door and with my head in my hands. Once the tears had stopped I got up, turned the phone off and walked upstairs to change clothes. Few hours later mom came....and I really didn't need to remember our talk. I needed to focus on today. The retirement party was on Saturday and I had many things to finish. I needed the distraction that work would provide.   
Putting a shirt over my head I had the feeling that regardless of all the distraction I will still be thinking of Luke. I'll probably fail at trying not to think of him or the regret of never telling him my true feelings. I usually did.

I sat down on the bed feeling exhausted.   
"I hate you for doing this to me Luke Danes!" – I shouted into my empty bedroom. The shouting didn't help at all and I lowered my head in surrender.   
After calming down I stood up again and finished dressing. On my way out of the bedroom I spotted the picture on my nightstand. It was a picture of Luke and me. Rory took it one night when we fell asleep during a movie. We were sitting on the floor, my head on his left shoulder and his head had fallen on a pillow on the couch behind us. It wasn't a perfect picture but the only one I had of him. I took it in my hand and looked at him. "Oh, Luke" – I whispered - "If I only knew where you disappeared to I'd follow you. I'd try to change everything. I'd tell you how much I love you....If I only knew where you are ." – I returned the picture to its previous place and walked out of the bedroom.

TBC

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_**AN:** writer's block sucks. I had so many difficulties writing this chapter.    
        I'm sorry for jumping from one tense to the other. My mind just couldn't decide on one.   
        I hope you liked this chapter regardless the grammatical mistakes. Ch. 8 will be up soon _

Song in the beginning is by Tori Amos "1000 oceans" (disclaimer: not mine)   



	8. Closure

_**AN:** Thanks everyone for the great reviews. You guys rock :)   
I'll need some time to add chapter 9. I need to rewrite it a bit but I don't have time to do it at the moment. Need to study blech. _

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**   
Thursday, 6.30 pm (1 week after Luke left) Chris' POV**

I stood outside on their porch feeling a bit nervous. I knew that I had to do it. Finally I raised my hand and knocked. Footsteps were heard and then to my surprise Rory opened the door.

"Dad, hi. What are you doing here? We didn't expect you 'til morning afternoon."

"Well, there was a change in the plans. You here on a Thursday? Don't you have classes tomorrow?"

"Not tomorrow. I rescheduled some things to spend more time with mom."

"Ah, I see."

"Where's Georgia?"

"She's with a nanny. Is your mom home?" – I haven't even finished the sentence when I heard her say my name.

"Christopher?"

"Hey, Lore."

"This is a surprise. I thought you were coming tomorrow."

"I intended to but I have to talk to you...you both."

"Okay, did something happen?" – She asked worried.

"No, nothing happened. I just made a few decisions that I wanted to tell you." – She gestured for me to sit down and I did. I sat down on the chair next to the staircase and Rory and Lorelai sat down on the couch.

"And this couldn't have waited 'til tomorrow."

"No, because the one thing I decided was to stop coming here."

"What?" – They both said simultaneously.

"I mean I'll come visit you, but not as frequently as for these past few weeks."

"May I ask why?"

"I thought a lot about it and I realized that I'm now ready to take care of Gigi alone. I'm grateful for your help and I'm sure I couldn't have done it without you but I think now is the time to raise her on my own. I already worked things out with my company. I'll travel less in the future to have more time with Gigi. After all I don't want to miss her growing up."

"Are you sure?" – Lorelai asked and I sighed out loud.

"No, but I know I have to do this." – I looked at her and tried to feel as convincing as my words were.

"Well, I think that's great."

"It definitely is." – Rory agreed and smiled at me.

"You want to stay here tonight? We can have dinner and watch a movie."

"No, I'm sorry. I can't. I need to pick up Gigi from the nanny and I need to finish a few things for work. Yesterday I took the day off and now there's a little pile waiting for me."

"Okay, you'll call us?"

"Yes, I promise. I'm not going to visit you regularly but it doesn't mean that I'll disappear completely from your lives. Not this time."

"You better not mister." – Rory said as she stood up to give me a hug. She kissed me on the cheek before letting go of me. Then Lorelai and I hugged.

"I know it's scary to do this on your own but I also know that you'll make it." – I thanked her and they walked me to the door. I was almost to my car when Lorelai called out to me.

"Chris, if you ever need help don't hesitate to call us. We're always here."

"That you are." – I gave her a smile as I climbed into my car. In the rearview mirror I saw them waving at me before walking back into the house.

It wasn't easy to do this but at the same time it felt right. It felt like some kind of closure. I finally let go of Lorelai and a life with her. She had moved on a long time ago and it was time for me to do the same.

TBC


	9. I try

_**Disclaimer:** I still don't own the Gilmore Girls nor the song "I try" by Macy Gray_

_**AN:** Thanks for the reviews. I think almost everyone asked when L would come back orif he would come back orwhen LL would be together again. All I have to say is...I have a plan ;)_

**_Now enjoy the new chapter_**

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_I try to say good bye and I choke   
I try to walk away and I stumble   
Though I try to hide it it's clear   
My world crumbles when you are not near_

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

**Friday, 1.15 (8 days since Luke left) Rory's POV**

I didn't remember the last time I was awake at one in the morning. I only wished there was a better reason for my sleepless night, but there wasn't. The night was supposed to be nice and fun. Sookie, Lane and I had surprised mom with a movie night at our house. An evening with mom's favorite movies and Sookies delicious food. Sookie had even sang and danced to _'Ladies night'._   
We've chatted and laughed and ate but I could feel that mom was not really herself. The lack of mocking and quoting the movies was a sign that she wasn't feeling as well as she wanted others to believe. I could tell by that and the way she laughed. She didn't laugh wholeheartedly like she used to. _"Or maybe she did? Maybe I'm just exaggerating?" _– Questions like those didn't let me sleep. I thought about mom and Luke and dad's surprising decision. Too many thoughts and questions swirled around my head and the worst thing...I had no idea how to solve or even forget them.

After several attempts to fall asleep I gave up and got out of bed. I thought about drinking a glass of milk but then I remembered the tea mom bought for Luke. I made a cup and decided to go outside. When I stepped on the porch the chilliness of the night took me by surprise. I walked back into the house and retrieved a blanket that I wrapped around myself.

I stepped outside again and sat down on the swing. With the tea cup in my hands and the blanket around my shoulders I enjoyed the silence around me. My thoughts returned to mom and the movie night. During our second movie she astonished us all with an unexpected confession.

"_I told him I love him."_ – We all looked at her the movie forgotten. She was looking straight ahead at no one particularly.

"_Really?"_

"_Yes. Well he was asleep but I've said it nonetheless."_ – None of us said something but waited for her to continue. _"I was at the diner and too tired to go home, so I waited for him to close up. Then we went together upstairs. I changed into his shirt....the shirt he threw away..."_ – Mom said in a tiny voice as a single tear slipped down her face. She wiped it away and carried on with her story. _"I was fast asleep but some time later I woke up. It was still dark outside and even too early for Luke. I admit that I hog all the pillows during the night but he hogs the whole bed. He never sleeps on his side but always in the middle of the bed."_ – She stopped talking and a smile appeared on her face. Her look was distant and I knew that she was lost in some memory. I was afraid to speak or eve to move. Afraid I'd ruin the moment she was having or be the reason her smile would fade away. It was the first time I saw her really smile in days.   
_"Anyway,..."_ – she said after the small pause. _"I woke up and laid my head down on his chest. I started to think about him and me and how wonderful everything was. I wondered why our relationship felt different from any other relationship I ever had? What was the difference? And then it him me. Luke. He was the difference. I've never known anyone like him. The things I felt were real not just imagination or the hope to feel that way.   
The way he touched me made my skin tingle differently and everytime he'd smile at me it felt....it...it seemed that the butterflies in my stomach danced to another rhythm. When we kissed it felt special. I always felt special. That may sound like something from a stupid romance novel with Fabio on cover but I didn't care then. I just looked up and into his face. He was slumbering peacefully and that very moment I realized that I was in love. I was in love with Luke. Then I said it. **I love you**....It was so easy to say and it felt great to hear myself saying It out loud. I promised to myself to take the first step and tell him in the morning. The morning came and went and I left to work without telling him. For some reason I felt afraid. Everytime I tried to say it the words just wouldn't come out. It was frustrating 'cause I couldn't understand why it was so hard to tell himt. I still don't understand it. I tried to tell him in other ways but I guess he didn't understand. 'Cause now he's not here anymore."_

"_Mom..."_

"_Honey, I think I'm going to bed now. Girls it was a wonderful evening. Thank you. Sookie the food was delicious like always."_

"_Hon, are you sure you don't want to..."_ – Mom didn't even let Sookie finish her sentence.

"_We should do this again. Maybe next weekend?"_

"_Mom..."_ – I tried again but she was already climbing the stairs to her room.

"_Good night ladies."_

"_Night."_ – The three of us said at the same time.

Sookie and Lane left shortly afterwards and I cleaned up a bit before going to bed myself. After she had finished her little anecdote about Luke I wanted to tell her that we should look for him. That we could find out where he was. We could talk to that couple that owned the restaurant to which Luke took mom on their first date. Hell, I was even ready to call Jess and ask him if he knew something.

My thoughts were interrupted by bright headlights of a car. It came down our street and pulled up into our driveway.   
_"Was it? No, couldn't be...or?...Luke?"_ – The door opened and he stepped out.

"Luke." – It was really him. I stood up and ran down our front stairs. He seemed very surprised to see me but I'm sure he felt even more surprised when I hugged him. He let out a short laugh, a sound I wasn't really familiar with.

"Hey, Rory. I didn't expect to meet you here."

"Me neither. I mean, I didn't expect to see you...at all." – I told him after I had pulled away from him. "But I'm so glad that you're back." – He looked a bit uncomfortable so I added – "Don't worry. You don't have to explain anything to me. Although I'm sure that a certain other Lorelai would appreciate it."

"Yeah, well..."

"That _'yeah, well' _worries me a bit. You're not going away again, right? You can't. If you're worried about mom don't be. Dad is gone and I'm totally sure that mom wants you here and if you talk to her she'll understand and...and she'll look back at this whole Luke-is-gone-thing as one of your little fishing trips...this one just lasted a bit longer than usual....and..."

"Rory." – Luke interrupted my babbling with a hand on my shoulder. "Take a deep breath." - I did as I was told.

"You're not gonna leave again, right?"

"Right."

"Good." - I breathed out and felt relief wash over me. "That's good." – I told him again and smiled at him.

We walked in silence to the swing and sat down.

"How...how is your mom?"

"She's been better. Your disappearing act was not easy on her."

"I'm sorry."

"Again, the wrong Lorelai. Besides that I'm sure it wasn't easy for you either"

"No, it wasn't." – He said quietly and I knew that it was the truth. Luke loved mom so much. It was probably very hard for him to leave his whole life behind him. I could never do that.

"You said your dad is gone?"

"Yeah, yesterday he came to inform us that from now on he'll be taking care of Gigi by himself. I'm sorry that he caused problems. I warned him, warned him twice but he still..."

"Rory, it wasn't his fault. I mean – yeah, he was one big obstacle but your mom and I are at fault here."

"I know it wasn't entirely his fault but he wasn't a help either."

"Actually, he did help a bit." – I looked up at him in disbelief.

"What? How?"

"Long story. I'll tell you tomorrow. Shall we go inside?" – Although I was curious about the comment about dad I let it rest for now.

"Sure."

"What were you doing outside anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep and decided ..."

"To drink coffee?" – He pointed to the cup on the floor.

"Believe it or not but it's not coffee."

"No?"

"Nope. It's tea." – I showed him the almost empty cup.

"I've heard that wonders happen but I never believed that I'd witness one."

"Funny." – I took the blanket too and walked into the house. Luke followed and he looked around the living room shortly.

"I think I should go upstairs."

"You do that. Good night."

"Good night." – I headed back to my room but turned around to face Luke again. He was already on the way upstairs. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad that you're home."

"I'm too, Rory."– He smiled at me one more time and I walked back into my room. As crawled under my comforter I somehow knew that sleep wouldn't be a problem anymore.

TBC


	10. She

_She  
May be the reason I survive  
The why and wherefore I'm alive  
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years  
Me  
I'll take her laughter and her tears  
And make them all my souvenirs  
For where she goes I've got to be  
The meaning of my life is  
**She**_

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

**Friday/Saturday 1.30 am Luke's POV**

After saying good night to Rory I walked the rest of the stairs up to Lorelai's bedroom. I quietly opened her door suddenly feeling nervous and anxious.  
She was lying on her back with an arm over her head. A frown was visible on her face and I asked myself if I was the cause for it. I wondered if I haunted her in her dreams like she haunted me in mine.  
I walked over to the chair near to her bed and sat down remembering all the sleepless nights since our break-up. As hard as I tried to ban her from my thoughts I was never successful. Lorelai was in every corner of my mind. Even leaving the town was no help at all. I really thought leaving was the best solution to forget everything but it only made things worse. I looked from her to the empty bedside - which looked very tempting - and back again to Lorelai noticing for the first time the shirt she was wearing. It was the shirt she slept in everytime she spent a night at my place. It was the shirt I had thrown away or at least Ihad tried to throw it away. The night of our horrible fight and break-up I was furious. Walking around the town and later pacing in my apartment didn't help me calm down. I had spotted her favorite mug on my kitchen counter and felt the strong desire to throw it out of the window. Instead I took an empty box and wrote trash on it. Then I walked around my apartment and threw in anything in that box that was hers or reminded me of her. I was disturbed by the phone ringing and I had put down the box on the kitchen counter. Despite my fury I had hoped that it was Lorelai calling me but it had only been Liz. After a short talk with my sister I had gone to bed and fell asleep with the clothes on.  
The box had remained on the counter. A few times I had tried to to throw it away and a few other times I had tried to place back the contents on their previous places. I never managed to do either and the box never left my kitchen.  
Now as I watched her sleep I wondered what her thoughts were upon seeing the box.

I looked at my watch and when I saw how late it was I remembered Rory and the talk we had only minutes before. I was surprised but also flattered at her warm welcome. It felt good to know that she was defending my and Lorelai's relationship to Christopher.

_Christopher._

It was like I've told Rory earlier – he did help a bit. I didn't allow myself to think thatat first.For two days I had tried to avoid thinking about the things he had said. Then tonight I was no more able to hold the thoughts back. As much as I hated to admit it - Christopher had a point.  
After he had left Wednesday night I had felt even angrier at him than before. I thought he had no right to come to me and tell me what to do…_"go back to her, forgive her" _  
Like I needed his permission or needed him to tell me what to do. I thought he treated Lorelai like a doll. Like she was a toy that he got tired of and handed it back to me. It was a harsh thought but that were my feelings then.  
The anger made me blind and it took me two days to recognize the importance of his words.  
_"Don't wait too long."_ – Two days later his words echoed in my head. It were the same words Rachel had said to me before she had left my life for the last time.  
When Rachel had said those words I was caught off-guard. _How did she know? How did she see it when I was so successful at hiding my feelings from everyone even from myself?_ Rachel saw something that I didn't want to see. I don't understand why I didn't want to see it. Was it out of fear or cowardice? Uncertainty or just good old denial? Maybe all of them.  
All I know is that I continued avoiding thoughts and feelings that went beyond friendship. I was so successful that for a short time I really believed that she wasn't the one for me. I thought I found the one in form of a lawyer. _Nicole._ The relationship with her was my proof to everyone and to myself too that I wasn't in love with Lorelai.  
I convinced myself that when I felt jealous of the men in her life or had not-so-friendly-thoughts about her that it was only because I cared for her as a friend. And it meant only that. Nothing more, nothing less.  
I was genuinely surprised when I saw that same jealousy mirrored in Lorelai's eyes everytime Nicole was mentioned. Unconsciously I had distanced myself from Nicole. I didn't even realize it until Nicole called me up on it. The stubborn person I am I of course didn't admit anything. That the marriage ended wasn't a huge surprise to me. I was just disappointed in the way Nicole choose to end it.  
After the divorce was final thoughts of Lorelai and my feelings for her returned. Slowly things started to change. All of a sudden Lorelai and I found ourselves in the right place at the right time. For once change was welcome and it didn't make either of us run and hide. Life was great then. I never believed that things could go so wrong. I was so sure of our relationship that I even promised Taylor to sell my diner, so sure that I had spent time with her parents.  
How I ended so many miles away from home didn't make any sense anymore. The more I thought about everything none of it made sense. Our insecurities, the fear, the fight, the break-up.

"_Don't wait too long."_ – the first time that was told to me I had waited too long. It took me three years to tell Lorelai. I decided that I wasn't going to repeat the same mistake. I wouldn't wait another three years. That's why I packed my stuff again and left the dinky hotel room. I was determined to save my relationship with Lorelai. I was ready to face my mistakes and to fix them. One of those mistakes was that I waited for her to tell me that she loves me. I waited for months. It only occurred to me on the drive home that the whole time I waited for her to tell me those three words that maybe she had waited for _me_ to make the first step and tell her. I realized that I had never told her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her. I decided that I definitely needed to change that fact.

Hours later I was back in Stars Hollow, back in her house and I prayed that she'd let me back into her life.

I saw her get restless in her sleep. She tossed and turned a bit before she found a position that was comfortable for her. She lay facing me and I thought she was asleep but a frustrated "Oh, boy." from her lips told me otherwise. Slowly she opened her eyes and they immediately locked with mine.  
I held my breath not only because her look caused a warm jolt of electricity to run through my whole body but also because I was unsure of her reaction. She stared at me intensely before turning on her back again and mumbling "Great, now I'm even hallucinating."

"If you are, then I'm too." – She shot up in a sitting position.

"Luke?" – She asked incredibly. I nodded and got up. Lorelai watched me get closer to her without breaking eye contact with me. I sat down on the bed next to her and her hand found its way up to my cheek and caressed it. I leaned in to her touch feeling alive again.

"You're really here."

"I'm really here." – She pulled me into a tight embrace and I was relieved that she was happy to see me.

"I missed you so much." – I whispered into her ear and she just hugged me tighter. When we pulled away I took her face in my hands and looked into her beautiful blue eyes before leaning in and kissing her. Lorelai eagerly returned my kiss and I just wanted to get closer to her. I had almost forgotten how amazing it felt to be in her arms, to feel her lips on mine.  
When we pulled away we were both breathless but had smiles on our faces.

"Don't you ever leave me again." – She said and I repeated her words.

"Don't **you** ever leave me."

"Deal." – Lorelai said and then kissed me again. Although I couldn't get enough of her I needed to tell her a few things. I pulled away and tried to clear my head.

"Lorelai, please listen to me for a moment….I'm so sorry for everything. I know that with that apology things won't be instantly alright again but…"

"But it's a start."

"Yeah, it is."

"I'm sorry too. There are so many things that I want to tell you but for now I'm just happy that you're back." – I smiled at that 'cause it were the same words Rory had said to me.

"I am happy too. I know we have to talk about everything and I promise you that we will…tomorrow. Now I just want to hold you."

"and I want you to hold me." – She told me and I kissed her one more time before getting up to remove my shoes and clothes. With a shirt and boxers on I climbed into bed and under the covers with her. She waited for me to lay down on my back before putting her head down in the crook of my arm. My arm wrapped around her and she let out a long sigh before nestling even closer to me. She rested her left hand just above my heart clutching my shirt a bit.  
I looked into her beautiful face before whispering "I love you Lorelai." – I know that she wasn't fully awake but I needed to tell her and needed to hear her say it.  
In response she mumbled in a sleepy voice "love you too." - Ikissed her forehead and put my hand on top of hers before closing my eyes.  
_"I'm finally home"_ was my last thought before I joined her in sleep.

TBC

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_**AN:** I'll post the final chapter til friday. I hope you enjoyed the story so far. Thanks to everyone for the reviews and the encouragement to write more. You guys rock!_


	11. Everything

_**AN:** This is it. The last chapter. I think it's my favorite one - I had a lot of fun writing it.  
Without your great reviews I wouldn't have enjoyed writing this story so much. **Thanks** again  
toeveryone who reviewed. **You're the best!**_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Gilmore Girls** nor the song **Everything** by Anouk._

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_There is no reason, there is no logic to feelings  
'cause when love is the dealer I'm addicted  
So fascinated, I can't stop this constant craving  
You're contagious  
It's the strangest thing that I can feel so much  
For someone, somehow  
And I cannot hide, even if I'd try  
You mean everything to me  
Any fool can see, what you've done to me  
You mean everything to me  
And when you're not here, I just cry  
And when you're not here, I could die  
The best is still to come dear  
The best is still to come for us_

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

**Saturday, 8.40 am (the morning after Luke's return)  
Lorelai's POV**

I stretched out in my bed feeling rested and at peace. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this content. I also couldn't remember the last morning that didn't start with tears falling down my face. Luke was back._ "Luke, Luke, Luke" _– I repeated in my head and felt a smile spread across my face. I felt like jumping up and down on my bed. _"I'll do that later."_ – I thought and laughed at my own childishness. I opened my eyes and turned to see if Luke was awake but the place next to me was empty. My heartbeat quickened and I clearly panicked. It couldn't have been a dream. He **was** there last night. He kissed and told me that he loves me.  
"no, no, no, it wasn't a dream." – I spoke into the empty room before jumping out of bed to go look for him. As I opened my bedroom door I was hit with the sweet aroma of my addiction. Coffee. I inhaled deeply thinking that Luke was definitely back.  
I walked downstairs and found him looking through the contents of my fridge.

**Luke's POV**

"Hey." – I turned to see her standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Hey, you have good timing. Breakfast is almost done."

"Yummy, pancakes…"

"…and eggs and ham and coffee."

"Again – yummy.You found everything you need? The fridge is kinda jam-packed."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that. You never had so much food in your house."

"Well, I needed to eat even without my major supplier for food and java." – She closed her eyes and took a sip from her cup before she murmured - "Mmm, delicious."

I smiled at her excitement. She could be excited about every little thing. I always loved that about her, even though most of the time I'd tell her that she was crazy because of it. She opened her eyes again and caught me watching her. With that beautiful smile on her face she asked me in a seductive tone. "Do you like what you see?"

"Yeah, I definitely do."

"Me too." – We stared at each other for I don't know how long. I just couldn't look at her enough. The spell was broken when she spoke my name.

"Luke."

"Yeah?"

"I love you." – I didn't expect that but I loved the way she said it. Before I could respond to her, she started speaking again. – " I know we said that we would talk later about everything…and we will. I just wanted to tell you_ I love you_ because I promised myself that I'll do exactly that if I ever saw you again.  
I know I should have told you before and I wanted to but…"

I walked over to her and took her hands in mine.

"Lorelai, I love you too. Later we will sit down and have a long talk without monosyllabic comments from me and plenty of time for you to talk. I know how much you love to talk and for once I will not try to shut you up."

"What a pity. You always did that so well." – She said with that smug smile of hers. – "Especially that one time at your place when you…" – I kissed her then. How I survived without her kiss, her touch…without **her** all this time was beyond me. She pulled me even closer to her and put her arms around my neck. After that lingering kiss we both pulled away.

"See, you're a so good at it. You're a natural." – She giggled at her own joke.

"Then I won't reopen the diner and become the first professional _"shut upper"._ I'm sure the people of Stars Hollow would love that."

"Don't you dare. You belong to only me."

"A little possessive, aren't we?"

"Shut me up again." – She said before pulling me closer for another kiss.

"I feel used." – I told her when we parted.

"Yeah, sure. Like you don't enjoy every bit of it."

"That's not the point."

**Rory's POV**

"Then what's the point, Mr. Danes?" – I heard my mom say. Luke laughed at her question and then kissed her quick. Usually I'd turn around and leave them alone to their dirtiness but I was so happy about the sight before me. Mom and Luke back together.

"Ahem" – I cleared my throat and they both turned a bit embarrassed to me.

"Hey, hon. Luke is here."

"Really? I thought you were kissing Michael Jackson."

"Please don't compare me to Michael Jackson." – I sat down on a chair and Luke put a plate in front of me.

"Yummy, pancakes." – I said and took immediately a bite.

"Rory!"

"What? I'm hungry. I'm sure Luke has a plate for you too." – She was still staring at me incredibly.

"Luke is back." – She repeated.

"I know. I can see him."

"He's back. He was away. Not here for a whole week."

"Oh, I get it now. You're surprised why I'm not jumping up and down on my bed like I'm sure you did this morning."

"Duh, yeah!" – Mom said as she sat down on the chair next to me.

"First of all…He wasn't here – here as in this house – for more than just one week.  
Secondly…I knew he was back. We saw each other last night. How do you think he came into the house?"

"Oh, I haven't thought about that." – Luke placed two plates on the table and sat down too. Mom immediately focused on the food in front of her. A mouthful later she said. – "Oh, he could have broken in. He loves to do that."

"I don't love to do that."

"Well, you did break in once…actually twice. You know when you climbed up the tree."

"Don't tell that in front of Rory."

"He also broke the bells."

"Lorelai!" - "Luke!" – Both Luke and I spoke at the same time. He looked rather uncomfortable but I was highly amused.

"What? I didn't tell her that you did it both times. Oops, I guess I did now." – She smiled at him before taking another bite of her pancakes.

"Luke, I'm really disappointed. I'd have expected it from mom but not from you." – I tried to stay serious but couldn't so smiled at him brightly. I saw him relax visibly.

"Whose idea do you think it was?" – I gasped and looked over at my mom.

"Mom! I thought you liked the bells."

"I did in the beginning and then after a while they started to drive everyone crazy. Even Skinner gave us his blessing. That was a fun night." – Then after a short pause she added – "no, it actually wasn't that fun." – She looked over to Luke and I saw him nodding in agreement. I was curious what really had happened that night but I felt that it wasn't the right time to ask. Maybe some other time.

"You two. Like Bonnie and Clyde."

"That's how I called him too and Luke…" – He cut her off mid-sentence.

"Okay, enough of bells. Eat your food."

"Yes, sir." – Mom saluted and Luke rolled his eyes. I, for my part couldn't stop smiling.  
Things were going back to normal. Finally.

THE END


End file.
